Baby’s Got Gap! – What does the gap in my teeth mean?

By | March 9, 2012

Elaine's Got Gap!

This is the monologue I prepared for my second travel audition. 😛

If you didn’t already noticed I have a gap in between my two front teeth. It’s a little hard to miss…. I was at work last week and this dentist told me that my gap can be easily fixed. It’s just a simple procedure. Oh no no no, I love my teeth. It’s apart of who I am! You see these Spartan teeth? Well, I have these teeth, my dad has these teeth, his sister has these teeth, and my grandfather has these teeth. He said well I know it’s not your first priority, but it can easily be fixed. Dentist, you know how Jennifer Lopez insured her ass? Mmm Yah. Well when I become rich and famous, which by the way will be very soon, I’m insuring my gap. I’m not even joking!

Besides my teeth being apart of who I am, I’ve heard many meanings of my gap. The first time was when I was at a hotel working in Greece, a guest told me. You are very lucky to have a gap in your teeth. One day you are going to be very successful and have lots of money. Ten Years later & I’m still waiting dot dot dot……..

Once I was on Danforth eating at The Friendly Greek, a waiter asked me you know, sehreis what your teeth mean? No, tell me! Pes mou! It means you’re gonna marry a man from far away. Really? I don’t even know if I am going to get married. I was honestly traumatized to have kids when I was an au-pair in Spain! I’m not getting knocked up to get locked up! Between us, I have I commitment issues with men. A few dates with a man and I want to just jump on an airplane. You’re a really nice guy. It’s not you. It’s me. You deserve a great girl who wants to live in the country. But I do believe men with accents are hotties, so as my Greek grandma says you never know.


Winning! Sailing off of Tarifa, Spain

This one guy told me that it means I am going to marry a man with a lot of money. Damn right! What am I stupid, I’m going to marry a man with no money? Ok so really I hope I get married by 40! My man is going to have money, a hot accent, and a BIG yacht! …. WINNING!

When I lived in the Caymans, I walked up to this jerk chicken pit and this big black Jamaican man was like Baby you look nice, baby you look good. He asked if I knew what my teeth meant? Lucky, successful, man from far, man with bling bling? No, it means you are really sweet in bed. Yous a freak. I just stood there. Of course a Jamaican man would tell me that.

Another Jerk Chicken Man but in Jamaica!

I’m thinking success check, man with from afar check , man with money check. A freak in bed? HEYYYYYYY HOLLA! Dentist, don’t be hating on me just because your wife doesn’t have my teeth. Baby’s got Gap!


HEYYYYYYYY, HOLLA!


15 Comments

Trev Murphy on March 9, 2012 at 5:51 am.

Damn right Elaine! I have Patrica Arquette teeth and I like them! And I have a sexy foreign accent! ;D

Reply

Elaine on March 19, 2012 at 10:46 am.

lol Yes you do have teeth like Patricia Arquette AND you have a sexy Irish accent! LOL Winning!

Reply

dave on March 9, 2012 at 7:21 pm.

Hi, hope is well. not sure if you have heard, but roy passed away

Reply

Elaine on March 19, 2012 at 10:45 am.

I heard. It’s very sad. I wish him peace. xoxoxox

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sal on March 11, 2012 at 5:12 am.

Get over yourself

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Elaine on March 19, 2012 at 10:49 am.

LOL…….. Sal, the blog post is a bit extra because it was for a monologue so it was exaggerated. Thanks for reading though. :)

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justin horning on March 26, 2012 at 9:51 pm.

A gap in the teeth means it’s difficult for you to be in a monogamous relationship. See Madonna for an example. : ))

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Janay on January 10, 2013 at 2:36 pm.

OMg I looooove this story your so funny. Im 23 and have a gap as well . I have hated for years and for years until recentlyi wouldn’t even smile most of the time because of it. But for some reason I’m complimented daily about it. Men seem to love it. (shrugs) idk lol.

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Elaine on January 15, 2013 at 12:51 am.

Ha ha Embrace it girl!!!! I love the GAP!!! I have a video from Greece this summer talking about the gap! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PCyID2sPLI Enjoy!

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Sexy GapTeeth on January 25, 2013 at 3:26 pm.

Your smile is infectious – Keep rocking your Sexy Gap Teeth!

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Elaine on January 26, 2013 at 7:43 pm.

Thanks! Will do. :) Thank you for stopping by my blog.

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Dr B on January 21, 2015 at 9:02 pm.

I just ran across this while trying to figure out why my Jamaican boyfriend and his friends mentioned my gap and started laughing. I LOVE THIS BLOG! Baby got gap??? Best line ever!

Reply

Elaine on July 16, 2015 at 9:57 pm.

Ha Ha, Jokes! Yup. Baby GOT GAP! Yah dun know! 😛

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antara umrani on February 3, 2015 at 9:17 pm.

That’s funny lol!!! I have a gap tooth too… Respect the gap!

Reply

Elaine on July 16, 2015 at 9:54 pm.

Respect that gap, YO! :) Respect!

Reply

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